Gruntilda Quotes
Gruntilda is infamous for her hilarious, yet bizarre rhyming quotes. She says quotes randomly while Banjo and Kazooie are walking through her lair, during a specific event or after a challenge has failed, when Banjo completes a challenge, during Grunty's Furnace Fun, etc. This page is a collection of all of her quotes she says throughout the Banjo-Kazooie series (Banjo-Kazooie and Banjo-Tooie only because this wiki is only about those two games). Banjo-Kazooie Game Manual *Tiny creatures far below, which of you will be first to go? *As cute as me, you stupid pot? For her own sake, I hope she's not! *I need those looks, far more than she, and finally perfect, I shall be! Introduction *Dingpot, Dingpot, by the bench, who is the nicest looking wench? *Yes, you're right. I'm rather proud. My looks stand me out from the crowd. *Ah! What do you mean?! This cannot be! There's no one prettier than me! *No, no no, you must be mad. Nicer beauty can't be had! *If Tooty thinks she's fairer than me, I'll steal her looks and ugly she'll be! *Come to me, my little pretty. You'll soon be ugly. What a pity! *Don't scratch and bite, my little bear. You'll soon need bigger underwear! *This fine contraption, as I'm told, will make me young and Tooty old. *Rescue you, he will not dare, there's many dangers in my lair. *Hurry, Klungo, push that switch, I'm tired of being an ugly witch. Gruntilda's Lair At Random (Walking throughout the lair) *Many tricks are up my sleeve, to save yourself, you'd better leave! *Grunty's plan is rather cunning, when I'm thin, guys will come running! *Long of tooth and strong of arm, Grunty's got the lasting charm! *My filthy bed gives me a rash, I never wash, I save my cash! *I don't like stairs much in my lair, they always make me gasp for air! *Can't you get here any faster? Come and fight me, I'm the master! *If you think I'm rather soft, I'll be waiting in the loft! *Why do I talk all the time, it's really hard to make these rhyme! *I'm still here, I watch you play, but I can't think of much to say! *It really does sound quite absurd, adventure of a bear and bird! *How bright they are, your stupid shorts, a target for my dumb cohorts! *That ugly bear, you feathered freak, is nothing but a stupid geek! *Join me now and dump the bear, that little backpack then I'll wear! *You side with Banjo, but change tack, imagine you on Grunty's back! *Your feathered buddy that you've brung, useless like a pile of dung! *I can see it's quite hard work, to lump around that squawking jerk! *My next world is the hardest yet, and you will fail on that I'll bet! *Tooty's fate is looking grim, it's because her brother's dim! *I've got this skirt so when I'm thinner, it really makes me look a winner! *When Tooty is a big ole lump, I've got just the frock to hide her rump! *Your butt will tell you and you'll know, when my boot swings to and fro! *When the back of Grunty's hand, whups your butt, you'll hardly stand! *Hey Banjo, you're looking glum, it must be hard, being so dumb! *Grunty's stomach and leg thins, goodbye to all those double chins! *Once I'm nice and thin once more, burgers, fries, and chips galore! *Tooty says she's fine with me, if you go home, I'll set her free! *Grunty admits she's a hog, I really need a big hot dog! *Monsters chase you, they're a hounding, then you'll get a Grunty pounding! *My belly's big, it's rather neat, it's years since I have seen my feet! *I've learned this spell, it's really neat, I'll keep it later for your treat! Specific Events *There he is, the fun begins, my tricks and traps will see who wins! *That was such an easy fit, the others may just test your wit! *You've found some notes, but you need more, to break my spell and pass this door! *That door was easy that you got past, unfortunately your first and last! *When you open a world door, baddies escape and roam once more! *Hey book brain, what did you say? You'd better not give my spells away! *If one more page I see you turn, then Grunty shall make Cheato burn! *That traitor book has pushed its luck, so in the burning fire I'll chuck! *What's wrong Banjo, is it tough? Let me know when you've had enough! *It's not over stupid bear, see my picture over there! *To fill it up is no mean feat, lots of Jiggies make it complete! *Pieces that you've left behind, to battle me, you must go find! *I'm sad to say down there you'll stop, cuz I'm safe here at the top! *Don't be sure you silly pot, soon I'll have you nice and hot! *See these filthy clothes I've got, when I've won, you'll wash the lot! *Grunty's fate, this should not be, so hurry, Klungo, rescue me! *I lost my doll, you ugly bear, get it and bring it to my lair! *Now I can sleep at night, you're lucky because I was ready to fight! *My evil plan has worked so well, now I'm off to make Spiral Mountain hell! *Now I've got that bear and bird, there's nothing you can do you silly nerd! *Stop using cheats in my tower, you are getting all the power! *Now I'll erase your Game Pak, because you had the need to hack! *The free trial's over so here's where you're staying, or buy the full game to carry on playing! *This drawing clearly shows, that the artist's skill certainly blows! *Subscribe to me if you want some more, I'm sure my videos won't be a bore! *You read like a drunken fool, I become sick, that's not so cool! Treasure Trove Cove *That golden treasure was for me, now harder still the game will be! *That lousy cheat for extra eggs, won't help bear and chicken legs! *All my feathers, it makes me sick, fly to me, your butts I'll kick! *Golden Feathers you may have twenty, but bruises you'll still get plenty! *Stop this cheating Grunty says, or your Game Pak I'll erase! *You didn't listen, I'm amazed, so now your Game Pak is erased! Bubblegloop Swamp *First you see it, now you don't, the fast one wins, the slow one won't! *I'll be young and Tooty old, before you get Gruntilda's gold! Gobi's Valley *Grunty's race you cannot beat, until you find some faster feet! Mad Monster Mansion *Oh, those lovely thorns, how they've grown, music to my ears as you moan! *I can't believe you went in there, wash your hands now, filthy bear! *These two guests are rather dumb, let's make sure they're unwelcome! *Yes I'm mad, my boot I'll put, up your useless spooky butt! *Big oak door is very tough, stupid bear's not fast enough! Rusty Bucket Bay *My oily water, in you plunge, you'll lose air while in that gunge! *Under the scum, you'll breathe your last, cuz air is used twice as fast! *Stupid bear, you'll have to learn, that red hot ovens tend to burn! *A simple task you were sure, but Grunty's engines start once more! Click Clock Wood *My bramble field makes you yelp, and loss of life it sure does help! *You'll use your air up double fold, I've made this water double cold! *Yes that's right, swim under there, icy water takes double air! Grunty's Furnace Fun Introduction *Welcome all, Grunty's the name, Banjo's here to play my game! *My lair is done and there he stands, through all my tricks and traps and lands! *This final test will see me win, when Banjo fails then I'll be thin! *The prizes on this stand bring joy, from Tooty down to a cuddly toy! *My little quiz will make you sweat, and Tooty you shall never get! *Cuz someone soon along the way, your lack of skill will make my day! *Cuz in the fiery pit you'll go, and I'll win the prize on show! *So step on over to the square, press "A" to try it if you dare! **So I see you're back to try, one more time but you will fry! Squares *A little answer's all I seek, about this game you furry geek! *A visual challenge you stupid bear, to tell me who it is or where! *A question on the sounds I'll play, get it wrong to make my day! *Just one chance to get this right, win a joker and help it might! **Each joker card that you have got, will skip a question, that's your lot! **Press "B" to use it you little cheat, when on a square you get cold feet! **Your joker misses out on a square, accept the test you did not dare! *Prepare yourself to take a whack, pick this test, you won't come back! *I think it's time, so let me see, how much you know of little ole me! *Get this wrong for Grunty's sake, then a lava bath you'll take! *Try this one, but don't be lame... You'll lose a life AND LOSE THE GAME!!! -Land on a Skull Quiz with zero lives remaining. Challenges *The name of your game you must spell, backwards though, be quick as well! *Mighty Boom Box you must now fight, but be quick as time is tight! *This is tough, your chances are slim, of you eating more than him! *Little stings that make a bear shout, whack them all before time's out! *The tiles await for you to match, time is tight but that's the catch! *Watch as the turtles sing their song, repeat it quick, you won't get long! Answering Correctly *A lucky guess, you got it right, the next square's yours without a fight! *Hear the crowd, they boo and hiss, to see you fail they would not miss! *That's a secret, how did you know? Did my sister tell you so? Failing a Square *Fail a square, and you'll feel pain, please press "A" to try again! *Get more wrong, yes that's the way, the crowds are happier today! *An easy challenge you have assumed, one more wrong and you are doomed! *no lives are left, he burns and chokes! I'm pleased to say, THAT'S ALL FOLKS!!! Collecting an Item *An Extra Life, I do not care, it will not help you scruffy bear! *The energy that you have found, won't stop me from making Tooty round! Ending *No one can win, I was assured, by the makers of this board! *It's not fair, I want to win, how I longed to be real thin! *Now you can take the prize on show, while up the winding stairs I go! *You won't catch me, I've made sure, all the credits you'll now endure! Top of the Tower Banjo and Kazooie Entering *I can't believe that furry pair, got right up here, it's so unfair! *But now the stupid bear must fight, this battle tests your skill and might! *Back once more, you'll never learn, that suits me fine, your butts I'll burn! *Who's back up here, oh my word, it's beaky fool and hair nerd! *I can't believe you're up here again, stupid bear and dumb bird brain! *I'm not one to brag or boast, but after this you'll both be toast! *So you're back, you must be thick, you'll lose again, I'll make it quick! 1st Phase Gruntilda Gets Hurt *Ouch my butt, it's now quite sore, I'll make you suffer, that's for sure! *What was that, you got me now, you've really angered this old cow! *A glancing blow, nothing more, now I'll knock you through the floor! *Now you've got me in a fluster, faster spells I'll have to muster! Banjo and Kazooie Get Hurt *Did you hear that lovely clack, my broomstick gave you such a whack! *AAAH! I see it makes you sad, to know your skills are really bad! *I hit that bird right on the beak, let it be the end of her cheek! *My fiery blast you've just tasted, Grunty's spells on you are wasted! *See my swoop and how I flew, my broomstick made a meal of you! *Hopeless bear runs to and fro, but takes a whack for being so slow! *Mmm, I see you took that one, a few more and your life is gone! 2nd Phase Transition *It's too easy, so I fear, now watch me step things up a gear! *Don't hit me, that's quite enough, I think you'll find the next bit tough! *That last hit did clip my ear, but you can't get me over here! *Ah, it's time for me to change, my spot to put me out of range! Gruntilda Gets Hurt *That didn't hurt, I feel no pain, Grunty's back to fight again! *AARGH! I'm slow with all of this lard, that egg of yours caught me off guard! *I can't dodge with all this weight, those nasty eggs I sure do hate! *Ouch! My gut you nearly hit, if your shot was down a bit! *This spot is proving rough, I'll have to move to make it more tough! *That's not fair, I wasn't ready! Now I feel weak and all unsteady! *Ahh, it's time for me to change, my spot to put me out of range! *Ooof! I took another whack, but watch me give you double back! Banjo and Kazooie Get Hurt *So I got you there once more, I knew your skill was very poor! *That last blast you forgot to duck, so Banjo's useless head it struck! *These bolts fly with such a whiz, I love the way they screech and fizz! *Simply put I'm rather proud, your yelps and screams I heard quite loud! *Hah! You took another zap, I got you through that little gap! *Grunty's fireball you did kiss, you're so slow I can hardly miss! *Hear that fireball fizz and bang, your hairy butt took quite a clang! 3rd Phase Transition *Off I fly cuz then we'll see, if you can get the best of me! *Did you know I learned to fly? At witch's school, I'm sure you know why! *A big old gal I may be, but when I fly you can't get me! *Old bottle brain has taught you well, but bears can't fly and I can tell! *Now I'm off into the air, leaving Banjo way down there! *See my broomstick, watch me fly, I'll beat your butt, don't even try! *Up in the air I'll be safe, at my leisure your butt I'll strafe! Gruntilda Gets Hurt *Another hit, I'm getting weak, I really need to take a leak! *AARGH! You got me once again, prepare to take this sizzle brain! *Oooh! You sniveling little pup, have this bolt, I'm speeding up! *YOW! That beak sure gave me a jolt, so you can have this lightning bolt! *Ouch! Now that one really stung, take this nasty spell I've brung! Banjo and Kazooie Get Hurt *This broom is hard and as it streaks, across the sky it chafes my cheeks! *Fireball fizz and fireball fly, blast that bear out of my sky! *Another hit, that's how it goes, watch me fly and pick my nose! *Soon you'll lose and when you're gone, I have to go and use the john! *Grunty's spell your body numbs, an easy task to hit those bums! 4th Phase Transition *I may be old and rather wide, but underneath this shield I'll hide! *That pointy beak did not miss, but let's see it get through this! *Look at me I'm quite a mess, here's a shield to hide my dress! *A special shield I need to call, to stop your hits once and for all! *So Grunty doesn't come to grief, here's a spell I can hide beneath! Jinjo Statues Appear *Come on then you little punks, Grunty's spells will make you chunks! *I hid those Jinjos really well, but must have used a lousy spell! *I hid you well for being bad, don't help the bear, you'll make me mad! *So your little furry friends, come here to share your very end! Gruntilda Gets Hurt *How that Jinjo stung and burned, he got me when my back was turned! *That wasn't fair, I wasn't ready, Jinjos make me so unsteady! *Hey, that Jinjo really hurt, now I'll rub you in the dirt! *That wasn't fair, I wasn't ready, I feel all faint and unsteady! *I hold on hard and grit my teeth, to stop it dangling underneath! *Useless Jinjos sneer and hoot, go back right now or taste my boot! *Ooh! Those nasty pointy beaks, are causing swelling in my cheeks! *Don't hit me you flying pig, my anger now is growing big! Banjo and Kazooie Get Hurt *Your stupid friends aren't much help, they stand there while I make you yelp! *Your silly friends upon their blocks, they're going to take a couple of knocks! *Your Jinjos really are a joke, now watch your lives go up in smoke! *Another hit, I don't believe, you didn't dodge, why don't you weave! *Get used to that, there's plenty more, of other nasty spells in store! 5th Phase Transition *Useless broomsticks I can't stand, it's left me stranded back on land! *That last shot I failed to stop, so down onto the ground I drop! *My broomstick failed with that last blow, now on my legs I have to go! *Ooof! You winded me all around, to catch my breath I'm on the ground! *I've bet you thought you had me beat, but look! I've landed on my feet! Jinjonator Appears *What's all this, how dare you cheat, but I don't care, I can't be beat! *That's no good, you stupid jerk, the Jinjo statue will not work! *I really think you ought to run, when I beat him and spoil your fun! *That rocky moron can't hurt me, cuz Grunty will the winner be! Banjo and Kazooie Get Hurt *Hear the fizzle and feel the pain, you're going to lose a life again! *Spells rain down upon your head, you stand no chance when I see red! *The bear is dumb, the bird's a twit, cuz I just got another hit! *I'm just warming up right now, such fine shots from this old cow! *Grunty's aim is rather good, if you could run, I know you would! Jinjonator Attacks *I could take these shots all day, there's no way I'm going to sway! *See your Jinjo failed to work, he's nothing but a feeble jerk! *Your crafty plan stands no chance, I'm firmly rooted in this stance! *There's no way he'll shift my bulk, I watch you cry and have a sulk! *Even with your extra friend, I know you'll meet a nasty end! *Grunty's strength will see me through, when Jinjo's gone, I'll batter you! Attack Succeeds *That last Jinjo has finished me, but who laughs last we shall soon see! *I'm done for now, hear me choke, but look what's hidden in my cloak! *Poor old Grunty, set to fall, upon this spell I'll now call! *AARGH! I'm beaten fair and square, before I go I've got this to share! *It's all over I can tell, but Grunty's got just one more spell! Magnet Spell *Here's my magnet spell at last, run and hide, you won't get past! *Magic spell, seek out your prey, it's sure to hit, O' happy day! *See this spell, I think you'll find, it's target will be your behind! *Here's a spell of Banjo homing, get him now to stop his roaming! *It's now time to end your fun, here comes a spell you can't outrun! Game Over *Banjo's game ends in my tower, turn it up, I need full power! *Look at Grunty, she's a beauty, I'm much prettier than Tooty! Ending *Stupid bear and dumb Kazooie, I'll be back in Banjo-Tooie! *All the Jiggies you did snatch, but I'll be back for my rematch! Banjo-Tooie Opening *No, no, no, this cannot be, what happened to little old me? *I hate bones, a body I need, can you help with this little deed? *Right then, girls, let's fix me up, then Banjo's hairy butt I'll whup! *Leave it to me, he's no hassle, I'll kick butt, then off to the castle! *Revenge is mine, I cannot miss, let's see that furry fool dodge THIS! *Hold on, sis, I'm nearly there, I've just been to blast that bear! *No, no, Klungo, you stay here, I'll be back, have no fear! When B.O.B. Scene Starts *Come on, sisters, time I lack, what's the plan to get my body back!